Mastodon and Toxicity

The diagnosis

It kind of surprises me. We should actually be the mediators in these difficult times. While Microsoft, Google, Apple and the like are creeping in everywhere, we as the open source community should be showing the alternative path and helping users. And yet I see behavior that can hardly be distinguished from targeted hatred and whining.

Steffo drew my attention to the topic and actually confirmed what I had secretly thought: It seems to have become a trend to specifically attack people who like thing X... just because they like thing X and that is not at all compatible with your own values!!1

For example, while some users are specifically looking for help with their problems, others seem to have an urgent need to blast their sometimes unqualified opinions into the ether.

It's inappropriate, it's annoying, and most of all: it harms our community as a whole. I speak for a lot of entities when I say that nobody wants to deal with a bunch of know-it-alls. Mastodon has a relatively high threshold for entry through instances, visibility, federation and the like. Of course I understand that people prefer to go to Bluesky and then find us annoying.

The spoilt apple

“Yes, well,” an inclined reader may say, ”but there are also entities that make up for the naysayers and make getting into Mastodon seem attractive after all.” Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Evil has great power, as clichéd as that sounds.

If you put a spoiled apple in a box of good apples, all the apples seem to spoil just because of the visual stimulus. You think to yourself that the other apples will probably be the same. But if you put a good apple in a box of spoiled apples, the spoiled apples will by no means be good again! The only good apple will also spoil. That is a prime example for subjective perception.

And that's also the problem. If the first impression counts and you have someone from Mastodon in front of you who rants and moans because you dare to use Windows, then the picture is practically already drawn: The rotten apple from earlier. Mastodon is quite technical at the moment. There is a disproportionate number of computer scientists, users of open source software, furries, and so on. Of course there are opinions that deviate from the “mainstream”. But should they be enforced so harshly? Should you become aggressive in some cases just because the other person doesn't share your point of view?

It's not your thing

The answer to the question is of course not 42, but “no”. It's not justifiable, quite simply.
It's perfectly okay if you want to help entities when they ask for help. If someone asks how to get off Windows or how to do that smart home thing again, you should be the first one to offer help. You are the gateway between these entities and the solution they are looking for. What also works (albeit with a little gnashing of teeth on my part): Explain to the entity matter-of-factly why X might not be a good idea and offer to help. This is especially justifiable when it comes to purchasing decisions.

What you can't do is present your own preference as the highest of feelings without being asked and defame the other person. In this case, you are forcing yourself on the other entity and making them feel insecure. As harsh as that sounds: In this case, you are the asshole. Someone else's property or way of life is not your business. Please don't make it so. And respect a no. Give in when someone tells you they don't need help.

I think that's why the trio of Dan Hon, Ted Han and Florian Fangohr created the DONOTREPLY.CARDS. A funny collection of cards with hints on what you should (rather not) reply to a post with.

Dare to respect

Even if you are not convinced by someone else's decisions, you should not stop being friendly. Respect, relevance, friendliness and openness are becoming increasingly rare. You can feel it - and not just online. That's why I want to ask you to do one thing: Maybe celebrate the fact that someone can control their lights with their Amazon Echo, or that someone is learning Photoshop. Also remember that you represent a platform and the values you stand for. Or do you want to portray Debian users and the Mastodon community as a bunch of intolerant wimps? No? Good.

Don't be a jerk :3

Finnley

Many thanks to Steffo for the inspiration, a round of proofreading and for all the suggestions for improvement.